25 Years Old - The Quarter Life Crisis
How did we get here? Where do we go now?
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A Tough Day
I am writing this article on an extra tough Monday right after work. You know the type of day I’m talking about. You wake up tired, maybe even a little sick. You get to work and for some reason everything you are responsible for is ratcheted up to eleven. Work ends and you feel defeated, tired, and unknowing of what to do next. You think about the long week ahead, you think about your life and how different it used to be, and your thoughts begin to spiral out of control. Not just work, but everything. Your fleeting youth, your social life, your interests, your hobbies, your family dynamic, where you live, where you think you should be right now, finances, your mental health, your physical health. Everything.
This, my friends, is the quarter-life crisis.
To my subscribers younger than 25, you are approaching this and may be feeling worried. To my mid-twenties subscribers, you might be facing this storm right now. And to my older subscribers, you probably know this feeling all too well.
Let’s talk about it.
Where To Even Begin
To truly start this conversation, we need to define what exactly a quarter-life crisis is and what it entails. Let’s say…
You are a couple years out of college. Not too many years that you forget what it was like and the lack of responsibility you had, but enough to reminisce on the memories you made. Because they are, in fact, memories now.
You are still working at the first job you got after graduation, or maybe your second or third job since the job market we entered is less stable than our mental health. No judgement on this – there is something to be said for sticking with whatever job you can get for the sole purpose of gaining experience. To those who are working their dream job, the rest of us will be there soon.
Your net worth looks very different from the rest of your friends. This is because there are varying amounts of net worth’s among this age group. Some people learned about finances early and were frugal growing up, some people are on the opposite end of the spectrum and spent way too much money on spring breaks in Cabo, and then there are plenty of people in between those two extremes. Speaking of in between, if you are subscribed to this newsletter, I hope you can use previous articles to decide which of those categories you fall into. 😉
Your family, social groups, and routines have drastically evolved from a few years ago. Friends and family live further and further away, people are somehow busier than ever before, you have new adult life tasks, and overall, “the kids have grown up.” You are the kid in that scenario and accepting that is scary.
Does this sound like you? If the answer is yes, now what?
That analysis does not exactly romanticize this phase of life, but sometimes that is okay. It is okay to not always be infinitely happy and feel like you have everything figured out, because chances are, you don’t. That is the point.
I am simply using this article to say to all the twenty-somethings out there: we are all in this together. This phase of life is challenging in more ways than one.
It is a known fact that humans do most of their growing, changing, and learning during their twenties. The optimistic view of that statement is that it is exciting. Growth, change, and progression are all exciting and positive things. The pessimistic viewpoint, which can sometimes be easier to have, is that this is scary! Change is hard, and a decade full of it can seem impossible. The only viewpoint that matters, though, is that change is not impossible, and we are, in fact, all in this together.
Always remember the beauty of this stage in your life. Just like all the stages before, there will be hardship, but there will be much joy and success as well. It can be hard to see in the moment, but just like you reminisce on college memories before you know it you will be reminiscing on these days as memories.
Take a deep breath, grab a beer*, and remember you cannot solve all the world’s problems in a day, and enjoy this era of your life. *I know everyone has their own booze of choice, so just re-read that line above with your favorite alcohol inserted. Oh, and cheers by the way🍺.
Crisis Averted
The title of this section is misleading because you will not be able to avert this crisis all together as there will still be ups and downs, but that is true of every phase of life.
This would not be an In-Between article without some tips and tricks on the topic, would it?
Being that I am going through my own quarter-life crisis at 25 years of age right now, I would say I am a good source for sharing the things I have found helpful for lowering my anxiety.
Below are my tips and tricks for lowering stress in three main areas of a young person’s life: Accepting that college is over, coping with workplace stress and responsibility, and managing finances.
Post College – More responsibility, less social time, great memories.
That right there is the motto of this first subsection. Being in your mid-twenties, you find yourself learning how to balance entering the workforce as a responsible adult, and still feeling like a young college kid.
This is a delicate balance that a lot of us tend to not focus on enough, which leads to that feeling of fleeting youth sneaking up on you one day. My wife (yeah, wife!) said to me the other day that she feels like we were just in college last year and somehow, we blinked and are 25 and married. How the hell did that happen?
Something I have found helpful as we are going through this transition is to make social time a priority. I know for the most part we all still have the energy of a college kid, but often long hours at work can leave you wanting to do nothing but lay on the couch. Don’t let that happen. Instead, you need to:
In the wise words of J.Cole, “Motivate, motivate, motivate”
Make plans and stick to them! Reach out to high school friends, go on date nights with your significant other, rediscover your interest in activities that brought you joy when you were younger, go out to a bar on a Friday night and let yourself have fun.
You will be surprised at how much these things will recharge your brain and fill your bucket. When your bucket is full, you are capable of giving 110% effort at work and motivating yourself to do hard things.
The Source of All Stress – That thing we call our job.
Like I said in the beginning, we are all at various points in our careers, but are all still sitting in the 3-5 years of experience category on LinkedIn. It is also probably safe to assume most of us did not start our careers at our dream jobs that we have been obsessing over since kindergarten.
Guess what? That is okay! Not only is it okay, but it is normal! They are called dream jobs for a reason. They take hard work, experience, and advanced skillsets that we simply do not have yet in our twenties. But never fear, we will get there.
Your mission during your twenties needs to be gaining as much experience as you possibly can. As you take one workday at a time keeping that mission in mind and game-planning your next few career moves, remember that where you are right now is exactly where you should be.
Develop those skills, make those connections, and before you know it you will be in your thirties working in a role you wouldn’t have thought possible right now. At least, that is what I have heard from my thirty-something friends. If that doesn’t happen, then we have them to blame.
Budgeting, Finances, Bills – Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems
Anyone picking up on the rap song theme I have going on here? Our third and final tip and trick, the easiest way to manage money as a financially irresponsible twenty-something.
Like I stated earlier, everyone has a different amount in their savings right now, so I am going to keep this section simple and go over the 10 Finance Commandments to aid in your quarter-life crisis.
10 Finance Commandments:
Save a decent percentage of your paycheck every single month.
Learn how to invest your money.
Ask yourself, “Expensive things are cool, but can I afford them right now?”
Look for ways to increase your earnings/earning potential.
Beware of too many credit cards – debt is no fun.
Build out a net worth tracking document on the first of each month.
Splurge on experiences (trips, concerts, sporting events, nights out, etc.) instead of material things (clothes, technology, décor, etc.)
Create a “rainy day” fund.
Don’t forget to live your life because you are too busy saving and budgeting. Treat yo’ self!
Most importantly, remember that money is not everything.
In Conclusion…
There will always be people who have it more figured out than you do, who have it all squared away, all their ducks in a row.
But even those people who seemingly have it all figured out still struggle with their emotions on a lonely Monday night after work, just like the rest of us.
We all let our negative thoughts and worries consume us every now and then, and that is completely normal. Take a deep breath, take a walk, and remember that nothing is that serious!
And just like that, my own Monday night quarter-life crisis is subdued now that I have gotten out all my thoughts and feelings into this cherished newsletter. I hope you connected with something in this article and know now that we truly are all in this together.
Now go enjoy that life of yours and keep kicking ass!
Cheers!
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